In case you’re still following…

Well, still chugging along on this IVF cycle.  Things are going great, so far.

I had my egg retrieval yesterday.  I was not ready for that, I’ll get to that in a bit.

So, because I don’t have any “fertility issues” besides tubal factor issues (blocked tubes), Mini-IVF was suggested and encouraged by the IVF team at the clinic I am going to.  Minimal stimulation is pretty much the gist of it.  Part of it also, because there is minimal stimulation, there aren’t as many eggs, egg retrieval isn’t done under anesthesia.

Well, let me tell ya, that was a fun ride.  Next, to childbirth, it was pretty intense.  I think I scared myself more than what it actually was, but trust me, it was no walk in the park.  Ladies, if anyone is reading this and you have gone through this more than once.  You are a saint.  As I laid there every painful moment was absolutely worth it.  That’s what got me through it.  The possibilities.  Isn’t that true for most of the things in life?  Maybe the initial moment isn’t the greatest, but what could come of it brings such hope and inspiration, that the current is worth it.  Always worth it.

After the egg retrieval, that part was over, but next, came another worrying stage.  By the way, let me add, I like so many others were completely ignorant to this whole process.  It has been an eye-opener, to say the least.  So, with mini-IVF, I produced nine eggs.  Now, came the worrying.  Were they all mature?

I received a call today, they’re all mature!  Seven are inseminated and the other two look like they may be on their way, just a little slow with the growing.  (The clinic also does assisted hatching.)  That was definitely the good news for today.  Now, the anticipation of every call until Monday (the day of transfer) is a new worry.  Are they splitting the way they are supposed to?

Ya know, we take so much for granted.  Our bodies are such wondrous places that we just “know” will do what they’re supposed to.  Actually going through this process and making it this far, has been a wonderful experience.  I can’t say all the aches and pains have been fun, but they’ve been worth it.  Whatever comes of my journey is absolutely worth it.

It’s made me appreciate life.  I look at my children a bit differently now.  “All the things you had to go through on a cellular level to make it to me”.  Isn’t that amazing?

It’s put into perspective how incredibly small myself and my problems are in the grand scheme of things.  The universe is ginormous, and I am but a little spec that made it.  We all are.  That in itself is a beautiful story.  If nothing else, the fact that with so many odds against us, with so many things that could have gone wrong.  We are here.  No matter how, whether it be through good old fashioned business or modern science.  Many will argue the two, for me, it isn’t up for debate.  Fact is, we… made… it.

I hope and pray that everyone that wants their own little spec, gets it.  I hope and pray the same for myself and my family.  I hope and pray that my little spec, whichever of all my nine, makes it.  I hope to be a better human just for the new enlightenment.  I hope that all of us specs go through life and experience things that give us new hope when we need it.  That we may go through things that breathe a new spirit into us when we need it the most.

More than anything, I want to create beautiful moments.  Stories I can tell my children when I am 80 years old sitting on my rocking chair thinking back on life.  How they were all different, so incredibly wanted, so incredibly loved.  Maybe their stories of how they all came about are different.  Neither was wanted less or more, some may have just taken a little bit more work with a dash of science magic.  Yeah, those are all such great moments to want to go through.

This was one of my moments.

If you’re still on this journey with me.  I appreciate’cha.  If you just stumbled upon it for the first time, I appreciate’cha too.  Welcome to the random ramblings of I.  I don’t have life figured out, I can’t say I ever will.  I don’t think I want to figure life out.  I just want to live life better every day.


My little eggs.20190117_154315


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